People-Pleasing and Boundary Work

Performing Every Role but Your Own?

Maybe you’ve learned how to play many parts — the dependable one, the calm one, the grateful one. Perhaps you’ve gotten pretty good at sensing what others need and adjusting to fit it. Does it also feel like what you need and want end up fading away?

If so, you’re not alone. Many people feel come to therapy feeling drained from keeping up those roles, wondering who would still be there if they stopped performing.

If you’re tired of always tailoring yourself to how others might react, therapy can help you unlearn the need to perform and reconnect with who you really are underneath.

Why it feels so heavy?

People-pleasing can look caring, but it’s often about survival: keeping relationships secure, avoiding conflict, or protecting yourself from being abandoned.

It might feel like a constant self-sacrifice.

And over time it can leave you anxious, resentful, or unsure of who you really even are when you’re not managing everyone else’s comfort.

You are not a burden.

The parts you’ve kept to yourself— the ones that want to be seen, to be honest — deserve space too.

Understanding the mask with Jovantae

In our work together, we’ll create a space where your needs aren’t “too much.” Together, we’ll:

• Notice the moments you start to over-explain, apologize, or pre-judge yourself before anyone else can
• Explore the fears behind saying “no” or asking for what you need
• Practice ways of expressing yourself that feel both honest and safe
• Build new boundaries that support deeper, more genuine connection

You don’t have to get rid of your sensitivity or care for others. But you can learn to include yourself in that same care.

What changes over time?

You’ll tend to show up with more self-compassion. Instead of adjusting yourself around how others might react, you begin to feel that your presence alone has value.

You learn what it feels like to be confident not in just how you accommodate, but for who you fully are.

You might discover a deeper connection with yourself, and room for more genuine connection with others.

I offer therapy for people-pleasing, communication struggles, and self-worth across California — including Los Angeles, San Diego, and San Francisco — through secure online sessions.